Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Randomize
