in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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