My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
