If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
We have so much sex to catch up on
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
