Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
