Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
