yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize