I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
