let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
