wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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