My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize