At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
