I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Randomize