This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize