dude i'm inner monologue high
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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