Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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