She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
