This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
