she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She's the barista slut.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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