I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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