my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
