absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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