Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
