his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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