try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Randomize
