I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
