You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
