Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
