he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
