the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
