she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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