I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
