I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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