as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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