took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
