He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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