why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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