One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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