True but thats because hes a fetus.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Randomize
