Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Randomize