would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize