So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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