I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
