If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Randomize
