worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
