But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
