She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
