oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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