how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
