i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
