Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
