im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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