We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
