Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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