He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
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