i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
