so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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