i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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