found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
is that a dick in a sweater?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
