i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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