I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize