put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
