I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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